Time to Take Off My Shoes

I feel so bad for writing my previous rant post. Messages came from all over: calls, emails, SMSes, real-life talk, blog and chatbox comments, etc. Even at such a horrible point in my life, I've been reminded again that I'm blessed with so many family and friends. Thanks so much everyone, how could I ever live without you guys!



Now that I feel much better (took me long enough huh), I owe everyone an explanation as to what kind of resolve did I reach. What better way to explain than to attach the post with pictures from the 2 picnics with my ex-classmates last week!



In my life (oh started la...), whenever I wanna do something, I'll really get fired up about it. As long as I wanna do it, of course :P



I'm sure many of you know that I'm a big fan of Japanese culture. Especially when it comes to games and anime. NO, I'm not an otaku, how many times must I tell you!



Now that I'm in Tokyo, I've been surrounded by situations where I'd go "Damn, wish my Japanese was better". Daily conversations, reading instructions and signs, joining doujin circles, reading manga, understanding anime, joining clubs... the things I could've achieved with better Japanese skills.



So I got into my usual passionate state and studied like mad. Beyond mad. Over 9000 kind of mad. Hence it's only natural that the breakdown happened, as you witnessed in the previous post.



Thanks to everyone's advice, I have come to my senses. I seem to have forgotten what learning a new language is supposed to be: FUN.



This is not Maths. Nor is it science. It's language studies. And in language studies, it's only natural that you suck if you were not born to speak the language. Hell, I started in my 20s. Studying a language is like getting to know another country's culture. This kind of interest sprouts from curiosity for something new.



Brain getting messy. Stress building up. Losing yourself. Are these things really worth it just to chase after something you're interested in? Now I think not. Learning a new culture shouldn't be about fussing over what you don't know; it should be about delighting over what you already know.



I realized that being in a hurry to learn something new is not a good idea after all. Considering that I have other things to do as well, I must focus some of my energy on things that I already have the skills for. 50% game design, 50% Japanese studies.



To sum it all up, I guess I wanna take it slow. Absorb new information as it comes. And Japan is not only about language, it's all about participating in festivals, ceremonies, sports, etc, not just staying at home studying every single kanji in the manga! Should make full use of my time here!



I will still focus on my Japanese studies, just not to the extent of destroying myself :P Seriously, to think that I have forgotten how fun it is to learn Japanese, I must've been out of my mind.



It's time to take off my shoes and take it easy. Thanx so much everyone!